For every role and responsibility there is always a learning, training and internship period, but for parenting, you learn on the job. I would like to share some parental frameworks that has shaped my mentality so far. Looking forward to your additions and comments.
1. Your duty as a parent is not the chores at home but the children. While you can delegate house chores, you cannot delegated parenting
2. Your role as a parent is not to provide material resources alone but more importantly, moral imprint/advice. While resources can be borrowed to assist the child, attitude cannot, it is inbuilt. It makes or mars the child.
3. Your responsibility as a parent is not to showcase your child but to show them the right way. The showcasing is as a result of showing them the way,not the other way round.
4. Your task as a parent is not to carry out ‘litmus’ tests on the child but to teach and lead by example
5. Your assignment as a parent is not to make your child follow your footprints completely but to show them how to choose and carve out their own right paths.
6. Your attitude as a parent should not be that of a ‘lord’, but to be that of caretakers and pacesetter.
7. Your skill(s) as a parent should be yours and not a compulsory family affair…you child needn’t be a copy of yourself
8. Your position as parent should not be announced regularly,or defended. Saying things like ‘Do you know I am your mother/father’ is an indication that you have spoken often without supporting actions
9. Your past as parents should not affectyour children’s today and disable or limit their future
10. Your beliefs as parents should not control that of your children. Teach them the principles and they will make the right choices
11. Your passion as parent should not define your children’s dreams and goal, they are here to fulfil their own purpose. Help them find it.
12. Your weaknesses as parents should not affect your children’s strengths.We are all work in progress. Teach your children to develop a can-do spirit that will help them succeed against all odds.
Whatever your style of parenting, your standards as parents should not be subject to the environment but should be built on enduring principles that cannot be altered.