Mum 4 Real Celebrating Parenthood
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“Fatherhood is a journey for the machos” Am I right? I guess I am completely wrong, it is definitely not. So what is it? I can’t really say but one thing I am sure of is that it requires patience or let me say long suffering and a lot of fathers dont really have either. Do you remember when we were growing up? Maybe not in your home though but in mine, my dad is always the first to be ready for all occasions and waiting patiently for us all especially when we are going out together.
Men are goal getters. When they want it, they go for it and timing is quite essential to them….hmmmmm…but this often does work with parenting. Parenting is process that requires patience irrespective of the goal you have as a father or for the child/ren.
Many a time, fathers go through the journey of fatherhood without understanding some important things that makes the journey easy, causing them to get easily frustrated, irritated and may give up on this journey with the belief that parenting assignment is majorly for women. But to be candid, fathers are the main actors in parenting, mothers are only supporting actors (actresses) and not the other way round.
To make the journey a smooth ride, I will like to share some of the things we must understand as fathers. They are;
1. Communication is essential. The pressures of work and various responsibilities often leave men drained. By the time they get home, talking becomes a project. They may say little to their wives and even less to the children. All they just want do is to find a quiet place to unwind. Some do this by reading newspapers, watching games or socialising with friends. Nevertheless, they must ensure they give the best words to their family members and not feed their wives and children with leftovers.
2. Being the provider is not only about giving what money can buy. A good father will not only provide for their children’s physical needs but also their emotional and spiritual needs. This is difficult, but men cannot allow themselves to be so consumed by their efforts to be a good provider that they forget to provide what is most important
There is a big difference between what is accepted and what is important; fill in the gap.
3. Fathers need to set boundaries. Yes I know you love the children so much that you don’t want to deprive them of fun. Notwithstanding, you need to prove this to them by protecting them from consequences of wrong choices and the first way to do this is to set boundaries.
4. Pursue, Pursue and Pursue. When children break the rules, their first instinct is to hide, or attempt to shift the blame, or change the subject. They tend to do whatever it takes to avoid the consequences. They often hide just when they need us the most. Moreover, pursuing them gently communicates more to them than any lecture can. It shows your desire to restore the relationship and it teaches them that they could come to you if they ever get in trouble again.
5. The difference between discipline and punishment. Effective discipline is not just about punishment and stopping bad behaviour, but also about developing good ones. Fathers that are too harsh may succeed in forcing compliance in the short term, yet lose the ability to speak into their children’s lives long term. A good father will walk with his children as an example, and apply discipline as needed to help them grow to be all they were made to be.
6. Show compassion. Good parents know that once you declare a penalty, you need to stick to it. You must be true to your word because if you don’t follow through, your children learn to ignore you. Yet, they understand that mercy and justice to coexist.
7. Keep your promise. Don’t be a promise keeper at work and promise breaker at home. Your family must come to learn that your word can be trusted.
This is not an easy to-do-list, but men are not called to do what is easy. They are created to do whatever is necessary to get the job done. Am I right? (Facepalm)
Happy Fathers’ Day
