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How I became a mother: My parenting journey

  1. We were both deeply in love, then he proposed and I said yes.
    I was happy, and truly ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
    Few years later, we got married.
    The ceremony was graced with family, friends and well-wishers,from near and far

I was happy and full of joy; I am finally settling down
My husband was happy and joyful too; mission accomplished! Time to move on to higher things in life.

My parents prayed and indeed blessed us
All officiating ministers prayed and blessed us as well
The chairman prayed and also blessed us
The musician praised and prayed ‘melodically’
Other members of the family, friends and well-wishers were not left out, they all prayed.

It was as if they all planned the prayer points
If I were to “collect like terms” using mathematical language, the most common prayer point was “In nine months’ time, may we have reasons to celebrate with this home”
Meaning, before our marriage clocks a year, we should be 3 or 4 or 5 or more – as the case may be…you dig, dont you? lol

To the glory of God, their prayer was answered
We had a beautiful damsel exactly 10 months after our wedding ceremony
Our parents were happy to be grandparents
Our siblings were proud to be uncles and aunties
We are also grateful to be called parents
But what next?

We were clueless
Yes clueless because everybody became teachers…did I say teachers? no…worse. Some became principals, or worse still – professors and professional consultants – all unsolicited (eyes rolling) ‘Do this to the child’, ‘Ah! no you don’t do that, ‘Oh, it is not like that’, I…”

I was beginning to beat round the bush in my parenting journey.
Later, parenting became a routine and then I was bored, fixed and angry…
I became a trumpet – I shout and shout and shout…
My hubby became a shadow, even when he is around, his presence had no effect on

I discovered that the media especially social media isn’t helping parenting at all!
It seems everyone has a perfect and happy family on instagram
The lastest technological gadgets (tabs, phones etc) are something else to the children…and they seem to want it at all costs…that’s the language they seem to understand
Negative influence calls at everyone of us (parents and children) everywhere we turn, we accept the offer and before we know it we want to ‘belong’, then we start comparing and somehow develop a low self-esteem and an ungrateful attitude.

Now I know better
I should have planned ahead before the arrival of my child to finish strong
I should have defined my family standards and stand by them against all odds
I should have prayed, done my research and documented my parental goals … but I believe it is not too late to start afresh.

What are your parental goals?

Always remember that if you don’t have a personal goal, your life will be full of a million and one distractions
If you don’t have a parental goal, anyone/anything can influence your parenting decisions at anytime. A life without a plan, goal or ambition is like an unfertilized seed.Without personal goals there are no valid expectations, and life is mere lived by chance

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