The longest vacation is gradually coming to an end and as parents, serious calculation and preparation is going on. As we prepare our children for school resumption, activities should not be limited alone to paying of school fees and buying new sets of school supplies. Of course all these are necessary but these cannot supersede our engagement with them: one-on-one interactions especially with every of our child.
We must ensure that our children are morally, emotionally and mentally ready for the new academic year.
When was the last time you had a discussion with your child about sex? Who started the conversation? How did you handle it? And… Hmmmm…
I am not talking about the gender differences now (girl, boy, pink, blue, Mickey or Minnie mouse). I know you understand me but I also need to emphasize it because I know that having a discussion about sex is ‘weird’ to with children, right? Yes…even me, I find it challenging to write about it. However, the media, peers, culture and other societal vices are not helping our children to develop ‘normally’ and we as parents need to take the responsibility to enlighten and educate our children ourselves else they become prey to these societal vices.
To have a successful adult, you must raise a balanced/emotionally stable child…it is directly proportional.
I am not trying to act like a principal, teacher or disciplinarian now but I think we really need to stand our ground as parents and not shy away from this discussion because it affects our wellness directly or indirectly.
You may be thinking that your child is too young for this talk just like me but I have learnt that, the earlier the better, I need and must set the right foundation today to prevent a fall tomorrow.
Remember, sex talk cannot be just a one-time discussion. It’s a continual conversation.
Here are a few recommendations:
1. Start when the child is very young, setting the foundation at 2–5 years old by teaching them not to play with their private parts (especially boys) and also not to allow anyone to touch it. Then continue the conversation as often as you can; Be deliberate daddies and mummies.
2. Create a safe environment for your children to open up to you.Tell them that you are on their side. Do not freak out when they share some ‘secrets’ with you.
3. Be honest with them and encourage them to ask you questions instead of asking their friends, because you are experienced and you will tell them the truth.
4. Don’t just say, “don’t have sex,” explain the ‘why’ behind the no. Don’t lie to them by telling them false stories e.g. that will will get pregnant when they TOUCH opposite sex.
5. For boys, talk about pornography and why it is harmful to their hearts and minds. For girls, explain to them that you understand the need to feel wanted and loved and you want that for them as well.
In conclusion, please keep this in mind, your children may stumble and fall in this area (we don’t pray for it and this will not happen to any of us) but if or when that happens, you should be the first in line to show them unconditional love and compassion. Don’t throw them out and never blame yourself. Look for a way forward and then start afresh. Thank you. We look forward to your comments.