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“Sibling rivalry that is not properly managed in childhood by parents often becomes sibling war in adulthood.” Oluwaseyi Fadairo
This long vacation comes with a whole package—for both parents and children. It is that period when the parenting skills of mums and dads are truly put to the test. Suddenly, many parents become full-time referees, separating one quarrel after another.
This is the time when we may almost lose all the fruit of the Spirit—especially love—or be left with only a tiny dose of it! 😂
This is also the season when we secretly wish schools never went on vacation. Before long, we catch ourselves shouting, “When are they resuming again?” 😢
One thing I know is this: siblings will fight. It is part of growing up. Nevertheless, as parents, we need God’s wisdom to ensure that the misunderstanding they have today does not become the reason they stop speaking to each other tomorrow.
Just ask Isaac and Ishmael… or Jacob and Esau.
Here are five practical ways to prevent sibling rivalry from becoming sibling war.
1. Pray for your children.
Pray that they will genuinely love one another with the love of God. Pray that nothing and no one will ever come between them.
2. Make love one of your family core values.
Talk about it often with your children. Teach them that they are not competitors—they are teammates. They succeed better together than apart.
3. Create intentional family bonding moments.
Spend quality time together as a family. When you notice strife or resentment, deal with it immediately.
As the Yoruba saying goes, “Ìbi eré la ti ń mọ̀ àtọ̀tó.” In other words, people’s true character is often revealed during play or ordinary interactions. Pay attention to what surfaces in everyday moments, and address unhealthy attitudes before they become deep-rooted patterns.
4. Love your children equally—and let them know it.
Children should never feel they are competing for your affection. If you find this difficult, ask God for grace. Avoid taking sides unnecessarily, and always be fair.
5. Parent as one team.
Children feel more secure when both parents speak with one voice. Let your unity become the model for the unity you want to see among your children.
The Bible reminds us:
“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” — Mark 3:25 (NIV)
If we intentionally build love, forgiveness, unity, and healthy conflict resolution into our homes today, we will increase the likelihood of raising siblings who remain friends for life.
“Don’t just raise siblings to share the same home. Raise them to share the same heart, the same values, and the same commitment to one another.” Oluwaseyi Fadairo
May God help us to raise children who will not only share the same surname but also share genuine love for one another, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Mum4real…raising the Preserved Generation.
