Mum 4 Real Celebrating Parenthood
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The training/education of every child is the primary responsibility of the parents.
Parents have a task to teach/ train/ educate a child and it is important to be intentional about this responsibility and also be very circumspect when there’s a need to abdicate this responsibility to other trusted persons or institutions. What you do or fail to do as a parent will have an impact on the lives of the children committed into your care.
Children possess what is described as the absorbent mind. This mind collects and retains almost all information that is deposited on it. Such information becomes the foundation of the thoughts and actions of the child.
Where does the information come from?
When children relate with their environment (home, school, religious institutions, media etc) they are bombarded with enormous amount of information. Often this information forms their worldviews and may lead to questions in their minds. The actions, words, images etc from the environment feeds the mind of the child. Infact, research has proven that every individual is a product of nature and nurture. Nature being our genetic tendencies and nurture being the impact of the environment each person is exposed to.
Where\ Who do they get answers to these questions?
For children, answers to questions come from the readily available source.
As parents, it’s important to spend time and engage with our children. Be ready to listen with a heart of concern and not to judge.
Children will naturally give expression to their thoughts especially when they find acceptance and love in expressing themselves. As parents, our role should be to listen and offer proper guidance\direction to the different thoughts shared by the child.
Do not be overly alarmed at some of the things children will say because the things they say are an expression of the information available to them per time.
What should I do as a parent?
1. Constantly affirm your child so that the child sees that he \ she is loved regardless.
2. Ensure to tell your child about the values that you believe in as a family and your expectations as parents.
3. Openly explain to your children that not all the values expressed by society are appropriate hence teach and guide them in developing the ability to make right choices.
4. Show by your lifestyle what you want your child to learn.
According to the words of Carol B Hillman: “One of the most important things we adults can do for young children is to MODEL the kind of person we would like them to be.”
5. Set boundaries and help your child understand that there are consequences for actions.
6. Be involved in the life of your child. Ask open ended questions which give opportunity for expression. Example: “What is your name?” or “Did you have fun at school today?” these are closed ended questions because only definite responses will be given. Instead if you ask: “Can you tell me about yourself?” or Tell me about your day at school?” are open ended questions as these will generate variety of responses depending on the individual experiences. In fact in responding to open ended questions, there are no holds barred.
7. Pray with and for your child. Parenting is warfare both on the knees and on the feet.
Do note that the parenting journey is bespoke and no one size fits all, as parents we must seek the guidance of the Lord in choosing the suitable approach to parent.
We will succeed………
Written by Mrs Senami Adeniji
