Mum 4 Real Celebrating Parenthood
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I like to describe parenting as a journey which leads to different destinations for different people. Therefore in basic terms, parenting involves raising a child to be the best of him /herself and be a positive contributing member of the society. The type of strategy or method adopted is crucial for a successful journey.
Ultimately, the outcome of the parenting strategy is the individual who becomes the evidence to the world, either one that the parents are proud of or one that the parents do not even want to be associated with.
Permissive Parent Vs Intentional/Deliberate Parent
Which side of the divide do you fall into as a parent? Before you decide, carefully look through this checklist and provide honest answers to these questions:
1. Do I give room for my children to make choices/ decisions?
2. Do my children see a need to involve me in decision making?
3. Do I allow my children to have their way all/at most times?
4. Do my children understand that there are consequences for their actions?
Remember the adage that says: “As you lay your bed so you shall lie on it”, so is the outcome of the responses to the checklists above and the parenting strategy adopted per time.
It is important to carefully guide our children as they grow and teach/train them to understand that they have the responsibility to make choices and every choice that is made has a consequence. Therefore, it’s important to carefully consider the outcome of each choice before it is made.
As children grow, parents must ensure that they are involved in the process of making choices/decisions. Explain the choice/decision to be made as well as the result/consequence of such. Then let the event play out in their faces after which a review is made to analyze the whole process. This is crucial because getting them involved becomes the model /learning they have as they grow up in readiness for the opportunity to make their personal choices. This is best captured in the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn”
Children must be taught/trained to understand that there are boundaries. This implies that you will not get to have your way all the time. We live in a generation that readily embraces permissiveness but the outcome/consequence isn’t always palatable.
For instance, the fact that the speedometer of a vehicle is calibrated up to 200km/hour doesn’t out rightly mean that the speed limit for every drive is the maximum. There will be times to drive at a slow pace and other times to be on top speed. However, the speed limit is dependent on the topography of the location per time. Therefore, parents need to teach children that there are boundaries; likewise the parents need to consciously set these boundaries in place and guide children around them.
Parenting is a journey and not everyone is headed in the same direction. It’s important to understand our unique journeys as parents and be intentional about the strategies we adopt/ path to follow that will lead to our desired destinations.
We will succeed…….
Written by SENAMI ADENIJI
She is a passionate educator, an advocate of revolutionary living through mindset shift especially for Africans.
She is a family and child advocate with a desire to support parents in their parenting journey whilst advocating for parenting styles that are Godly and help bring out the best in each child.
She is a teacher whose years of experience have spanned classroom teaching and school leadership. She currently manages start-up schools, trains teachers on cutting-edge practices and also advocates that children be raised as out- of- the box thinkers and problem solvers.
Insightful read.
Only a great teacher can put this down. Thank you ma. You influence definitely reaches eternity.